Most of us are so programmed to NOT to think for ourselves so when asked, ‘what do you think?’ we immediately fall into an old internal program learned at a young age, searching for the right answer, what we should say rather than what we know to be true.
We learn at a young age to answer in a way we think will give us approval, rather than what we really think and we do this for so long that we forget to listen to our own wisdom.
Through the amazing gift of thought and via our experiences, we create our own warped individual reality of how life works.
Whats really going on?
Through our senses, what we see, hear, feel, smell and touch, we input data based on what we are paying attention to, we make sense of the world and form beliefs about what’s right, wrong, good or bad.
As a child, getting rebuked for speaking up, or punished for getting ‘it’ wrong, many learn to stop believing what they know inside and instead, search outside for answers.
I remember myself, as a young child smelling dog faeces and saying out loud “I’ve got dog shit on my shoe”.
Being the youngest of five children with a six year age gap, I assume having learned the word for dog faeces via my older brothers. I quickly realized, after my dad’s cross reaction, to stay safe and keep my mouth shut. Thus forming a fear of saying the wrong thing.
In later years, there were many times at school and later, when I knew the answer to a question but stayed quite for fear of getting it wrong. Maybe you can relate to those times yourself when hearing the answer you said to yourself, “I knew that!”
We learn to listen for others’ opinion and ignore our own internal voice of wisdom and stop using our own common sense. By doing as we are told, and following the herd, like sheep. we become brainwashed by society to toe the line and be good.
Those people who stepped out of line and spoke up were punished, and yet, those who had the confidence to speak out anyway tended to be the ones who made a difference and became successful.
If you read the biographies of most famous people throughout history, you will notice a pattern of how they were like the black sheep, not fitting into the crowd, speaking up whilst the others looked down, embarrassed and fearful of the reaction.
What’s Different about the black sheep?
The difference between those who speak up is simply having a different understanding. They didn’t forget to pay attention to their own thinking. They didn’t learn that it was wrong to speak up, and they learned that it was ok to make a mistake.
We live in an achievement model world and have a set of unconscious patterns of behavior that motivate us toward getting it right. Unfortunately, this model is based on a fundamental misunderstanding of how life works.
Achievement > Wisdom Model
A part of my work is to educate people of the fact that we live in a thought generated world.
We are given this gift of thought when we are born. Thought is neutral, but it is the thinking we do via this gift of thought that results in our insecurities and fears, holding us back from listening to our own internal guiding system.
The further we move away from listening to our own wisdom, the more lost we become, the more insecure and unhappy we feel as we have a sense of something missing, we know something is wrong yet we can’t put a finger on it.
SEARCHING FOR THE ANSWER IN THE WRONG PLACE
This is when people search on the outside, either going to seminars, reading self help books, having affairs, leaving work, moving countries, changing career, all the time searching for what each and every one of us has already got. Failing to hear the voice of wisdom inside.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that its wrong to do courses, read books, move country, change jobs or anything else you choose to do, the difference is coming from a clear quiet calm decision rather than the busy urgent thinking of an insecure mind.
I used to call the urgent noisy thinking in our mind being like a brassband with all the instruments playing at the same time, the noise being so loud that we fail to hear the small flute playing gently in the background, the flute of wisdom, always there, never going away, but we fail to hear it as we are focusing on the insecure noise in our mind. But now I realise that it isn’t a soft flute, its more like a loud trombone of wisdom, but we still miss hearing the sound as we are too focussed on the urgent noisy thoughts.
The answer lies not in your noisy thinking mind but in the space between the noise
Internal Guiding System
We all have our own internal guiding system, our own voice of reason,our own knowing of what is right for us as an individual.
But we block our wisdom, and believe the illusion of how our life is supposed to be, following on from our parents to be lawyers, doctors and other scenarios, because this is what we believe to be expected and we want to be good and get the reward.
Except we don’t get to feel good, even when we succeed as we are following somebody else’s dream and not our own innate wisdom.
Your wish is granted
If I was your fairy god mother and appeared to you now, offering you the life of your dreams.
Do you know what this is?
Dare you allow yourself to listen to your own thinking?
Give yourself some space now inside your mind, to dream. Quiet the internal noise of should’s and could’s and really listen for the voice deep inside of you where you truly know your direction and purpose.
It’s so easy to lose sight of our dreams and believe the illusion promised from the outside, thinking we need to follow a certain diet, go to a particular college, have a type of fancy car or be seen with the right partner. But, in the end all of this is just smoke and mirrors.
The Answer: think
What you really need, you already have, right now inside of you. You have just forgotten till this point.
You might recall those times when you just know something without having learned it.
Maybe being pregnant, or knowing who was going to be on the end of the phone when it rang. Knowing the answer to a question although you have no Idea how you knew. That feeling, that knowing, comes from a different place, other than your intellectual thinking logical brain.
That place of knowing is where I point to when I direct you to your own innate wisdom and wellbeing.
I know it all sounds a bit weird, but even as you read these words, I know a part of you knows and recognizes the real you, behind the story. Who you think you are is made up of your beliefs, values and patterns of behavior. But, you are much more than your behavior and like the words of Sydney Banks:
“And in this game of life, we all search for ourselves. When I say selves, I mean ‘inner selves’, the thing that created the life in the first place. Now consciously, most of us are not aware of this. But if you’re searching for happiness; if you’re searching for the tranquility; if you’re searching just to have a nice, peaceful, loving, understanding in life…. inactual fact, you’re searching for your inner self.” – Syd Banks
If you would like to learn more about innate wisdom or the three principles of mind, consciousness and thought, lets organise a free online conversation at a mutually convenient time. just email: Angela@angelafarlam.com referring to this blog.
Learn more about me by clicking on this link
For your own research, take a look at these books, a part of a growing list of authors tuning into their own innate wisdom.
Sydney Banks:
The missing link, The Enlightened Gardener, The Enlightened Gardener Revisited
Jamie Smart:
Clarity, Results
Michael Neill:
The Inside Out Revolution, The Space Within
Jack Pransky:
Somebody Should Have Told Us, Seduced by Consciousness
Amy Johnson: