It’s a lot more than you might be imagining. People can be intimate in many different ways and they are all relevant in ensuring a deep connection and communication with our partner.  Including:

• Physical Intimacy
• Emotional Intimacy
• Intellectual Intimacy
• Recreational Intimacy
• Financial Intimacy
• Unconditional Intimacy

Physical intimacy 

Hugging, kissing and being comfortable in reaching out to your partner whenever you feel like getting close without feeling you have to have sex is one way of developing intimacy.

In fact, touch can decrease the stress hormone, cortisol and result in a calming effect on the mind.  Some people need to feel an emotional connection before experiencing physical intimacy and for others, physical intimacy creates emotional connection.

A good reason for an old-fashioned courtship when you meet a new partner, taking things slowly with hand holding, kissing & cuddling with a gradual build-up of emotional intimacy as well as giving an opportunity for the physical desire to increase.

A relationship isn’t a ‘thing’, you can’t put it in a bucket! And the path along the road of a relationship ca be smooth or full of challenges. No matter how much you love your partner at times, you can lose the feeling of intimacy. 

Even in those heady days when you are full of love and decide to get married, the sheer pressure and stress of wanting to organise a perfect day or deal with relatives can affect desire and intimacy, creating all sorts of insecure thinking around whether you really do love your partner.

Having a new baby, along with hormonal changes, sleepless nights and worry about finances, jobs and all sorts of anxieties about the little one’s health and wellbeing can all get in the way of feeling close to our partner.

Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is a feeling of knowing that seems to come from a different space to the noisy insecure internal dialogue in our mind, that inner wisdom, is an accepting and loving your partner for who they are. 

When you feel secure in your partner’s love for you, you feel safe and comfortable opening up to them. Being able to discuss your feelings, desires and dreams, which all increases the sense of emotional connection and also increase your chances of the relationship  lasting the test of time.

Intellectual Intimacy

This type of intimacy comes from the logical thinking mind. Where you are both in agreement with the major life decisions, around finances and raising kids.  If your values are aligned in these areas you will feel a greater sense of intimacy, if your values are different the road ahead could be really rocky, so arranging a simple values exercise with a coach early on in the relationship might be better investment than taking on a mortgage. 

Differences are also good in relationships as you can also help you grow as an individual, exchange knowledge, trusting each other’s level of intelligence and never thinking of undermining it.  This type of intimacy forms from having in-depth discussions, debates or conversations about anything that interests you, including the heavy stuff such as politics and religion as they help you both develop mutual respect.

Recreational Intimacy

This type of intimacy is about doing stuff together. I love to run and enter events and my partner shares my interest by being my support team.  Other ways of recreational activity and intimacy can be simply walking the dogs on the beach or taking vacations together.  Sharing recreational interests can help you both stay fit and mentally healthy as well as have fun.

Financial Intimacy

Lack of financial intimacy occurs when couples are not honest about what they are buying and how much they are spending.  Having a financial plan and working together towards goals helps couples to grow closer.  Discussing future goals and even donating to causes that you are both passionate about helps to increase financial intimacy.

Unconditional Intimacy

I trained with Tony Robbins and he taught me about the three levels of love.  The first level is immature selfish and all about the self and what’s in it for me.  The second level is conditional, the belief at this level is that I’ll do this thing for you if you do it for me. Many couples settle at this level.  

The Third and best level is one of Unconditional love.  Unconditional Intimacy is loving earh other no matter what their flaws are.  You love each other’s strengths as well as their weaknesses.  

You forgive and forget the mistakes that you both have made.   Every day you may notice things about your partner that you find annoying, find ways to work around them.  When you are both feeling calm and relaxed, this is the best time to discuss how good you feel when your partner shows his/her love by surprising you with a tidy house when you arrive home from work. Rather than complain about how untidy they are.

 I often recommend a book called The Five Love Languages – Gary Chapman. Describing how we all have a different way of showing our love

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Acts of Service
• Gifts
• Physical Touch

The Importance of Intimacy

Intimacy is the most important the two of you can have.  Without intimacy you are living with a stranger.  Maintaining a happy relationship can be a challenge, taking a lot of work, time and commitment. But by being comfortable communicating with each other on life’s deeper topics and making each other happy, you are on track to establish a long and beautiful partnership.

Intimacy Disorder

Anxiety issues can get in the way of establishing close or intimate relationships with other people. Social anxiety can manifest in a number of ways.  Even when the social interaction is deeply desired, fear and embarrassment can get in the way of connecting.  

People with social anxiety disorder have persistent fears, worries and other symptoms that can and do disrupt daily routines and relationships.

• Extreme self-consciousness
• Intense fear of the opinions of others
• Avoidance of locations and situations 
• Difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships
• Worry about an upcoming social event
• Stomach upset and nausea
• Blushing
• Muscle tremors
• Excessive sweating.

It’s easy to see how social anxiety issues can develop serious problems with intimacy.

Sexual Freedom Hypnosis

Can help reduce anxiety as well as education you on the many sexual dysfunctions getting in the way of couples enjoying life together. If any of the content here applies to you, please reach out for a confidential, online discovery conversation.

If you are interested and would like to know more. Click on the Sexual Freedom Link above for more information.